My World Has Changed

My life over the past few months has changed so drastically I can hardly even comprehend all the changes and all the changes that are yet to come.  What seems the most bizarre to me is the fact that only a month before my wife suddenly died, I was reading the fortunes of friends using a normal deck of playing cards.  When I was done, they wanted me to read my fortune just for fun.   Normally I wouldn't, but for some reason, I did my own reading.  From the first card, I saw massive changes coming to my life.  With virtually every card I laid down, I was reading nothing but change in my life.  I didn't understand, and because I was reading my own fortune, my personal biases didn't allow me to be truly open to what I saw.  What the cards were telling me.  Everything in my life was about to change.

While Robin and I knew she was sick, and that she wasn't going to get better in the long term without a liver transplant, the calm and slow pace the Drs. seemed to be taking gave no hint as to the extent of her illness.  Or, how short her time truly was.  In a month, she went from needing a step to get in and out of our Explorer, to laying dead in a hospital room in Vancouver.

Now I am living in a house I can afford to pay the mortgage on, but not; the water, the electricity, phone, garbage, or the internet. I don't know what I am going to do yet.  Then today, after trying to get my health insurance renewed for another year, I get a letter in the mail saying I have two days to fill out the paperwork and bring everything into Social Security in Tacoma.  I think I have enough money for one tank of gas, so I am definitely going to be forced to start selling things.  It is time I adapt and go into survival mode as my world changes around me.  

Few people have a clue as to the hole I suddenly find myself in.  All I can do is my best to fulfill my obligations, and do everything in my power to finish what I have started to do to help get some new laws passed, and to help my local community.  But I also have to focus on my ability to survive, in order to do these things.

I will survive this and come out wiser on the other side.  With no clue yet as to what is going to happen, I'm just moving forward day to day trying to get a handle on what has happened and what I am going to have to do next.  Things are about to get interesting, to say the least.  My world has changed, and my life is going to have to change with it.  What all those changes will turn out to be, I'll find out as I reach and experience them.  I'll try to keep you posted.

Catch you on the road sometime...