Rest In Peace

 

I was sitting here tonight and started thinking about the loved ones I have lost over the years since I came of age.  Not just people that I knew, but those that I considered family, and loved.  This is only a partial list of the people who left a huge hole in my life.  It’s almost February, and that has for so long been the start of my sad times.  To all those on this list, and to everyone else I have lost who isn’t, I love you, and I’ll see most of you again someday.

Candy and Shilo, who both died so young in a useless car crash while coming up to visit me.  An ex-wife and daughter who I still mourn deeply every February, the anniversary of their deaths.

Dirty Dan, who was set up for a brake-check crash on the way home from the Toy Run, and who was so tough it took years for his body to die. 

Doc, who died nearly ripped in half surrounded by your brothers at that guardrail post on that curve on Hwy 12.  I still can’t ride passed that curve without seeing you laying there and rendering you an honored salute.  You have been in my dreams and nightmares for decades.  At least the nightmares I have learned to deal with, and the dreams to enjoy.

Swan, such a gentle giant, hit and killed so senselessly at a stoplight by a woman on her way to the bar, and just didn’t see you and your Harley waiting for the light to change.  I miss you Brother, I still swear I hear your pipes, and see your Shovels front wheel sometimes when I ride.

Tennessee, the drugs took control, and you weren’t you when you died.  You weren’t the happy biker, and loving husband and father.  I lost count of how many times you would come rescue me when I got lost in Portland and called you for directions. I will miss our time together until God calls me home. All I can ever say is I am sorry Brother.

Rory, we never did learn who beat you to death in your own bed.  Or even why? You were always there when needed, and ready to do whatever was needed…good or bad.

Big Ed, with the cancer eating you up inside, you hit the road and ended your suffering on your own terms.  I can’t think of a better way to go home.

Big Red, I loved you first as a friend, then a sister.  We rode together, and you introduced and pushed Robin and I together.  I miss your cooking, your attitude, and your loyalty.  You are another that I wish the cancer had never taken from us.  I still see your lifeless body finally at peace.  Your wake was the last great party we shared together.  I miss playing double deck pinochle, and cribbage with you.  See you again someday sister.

Buck, you truly rode ’em like you stole ‘em.  But you couldn’t outrun the reaper when that van crossed the center line.  We shared a lot or time on the road together, and I wish we still could.  I’ll catch you on the Heavenly Road sometime.

Barry, when they gave you six months to live, you fought with everything you had in you.  The Drs had said six months, and you fought that out to almost nine years.

Jean, you were a second mother to me, and I know it was an angel that made me buy that Tacoma newspaper that day and read the obits.  There is no other way that I would have known of your funeral.  The looks on the family’s faces when they saw me at the chapel is something that I still hold in my heart.

Brad, when I heard that you had died, it was like someone had shattered my heart.  I thought we had just lost contact and kept trying to find you until I heard from Heavy that you had died.  I still can’t believe you have been gone for so long.

Irish, what can I say about you Irish?  A fellow Seahawk, so many weird connections back in the day.  That twinkle in your eye when you had something mischievous on your mind.  Sharing the road with you, but not as much as I’d like.  You always told me like it was, and treated me with respect, even when you were showing me that I was wrong, and you supported me when I needed it.   

Leprechaun, it was always a pleasure to see your face, to share ‘the mother’s milk’, ‘the water of life’ with you as we told stories and sang Irish songs.  I always looked forward to seeing you, and when you were hit and killed you rocked the community we lived in.

Moe, God works in mysterious ways, and brings people in and out of our lives.  Things went bad between us, and that I regret.  But I never expected you to die so suddenly, and unexpectedly.  I will see you in Heaven some day.

Robin, I can still easily see in my mind you take your last breaths.  Hear your voice telling me you loved me in the hospital.  Your leaving was such a shock, a part of me still hasn’t fully accepted it. 

Jimmy, one of my favorite memories of you is sharing that last drink of 12 year old Tullemore with you.  If ever there was anything that you could do to help, you were there without hesitation.  Often without even needing to be asked.  I loved you Brother, and you made me a part of your family.  It was a privilege to be part of spreading your ashes with the family.

Billy D, I can only say I wish I had half the heart you did.  Your spirit was fierce, and you would defend your family without remorse, and you loved those close to you with equal intensity and respect.

Summer, we almost married then you ripped my heart out.  But I never truly stopped loving you at some level.  When Robin was in the hospital, and you sent Guy to sit with me so I wouldn’t be alone, I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.  Then to have you pass so suddenly, it was something I still can’t believe. 

Kim, I thank God every day that I was able to at least hold your hand for a few seconds before they loaded you into the ambulance and took you away.  I will never understand God’s plan when He took you away.  My world hasn’t stopped shaking since.  I love you, but then you already knew that.  I will see you and your mom again when God calls me Home.

Morton to Kennewick Roundtrip Ride pt 1

Moto-camping In The Gifford Pinchot National Forest

 

April Ride In Lewis County

Taking My Dad's ashes Home- Road Trip 2022; Camping Gear Acquired

 

I have been replacing some of my camping gear with newer items that are either smaller, lighter in weight, or in better condition than my older camping gear for use on the trip.  Today, a new camp axe arrived, and along with the folding entrenching tool, small sheath knife, and LED folding lantern, my new gear is pretty well complete.  I am planning on purchasing a military mess kit for cooking, and a small single burner hiking stove.  But other than that, I pretty much have everything I am going to need.  My sleeping bag and tent are in plenty of good enough condition to use for this trip.  Especially since I plan on staying in Motel 6's once we hit the Great Plains.  I just can't see camping with no shade in late Summer on the Great Plains and getting roasted in the tent unnecessarily.

I am planning on using my old Navy seabag to carry most of what I am taking that won't fit in the saddlebags, and I still have a Kuryakin T Bag that will mount on the back of the bike.   Between the seabag and the T Bag, I can't think of much else I will be needing to pack for this trip.  The Navy trained me long ago how to fold and stow my clothes and gear effectively.  

Since this is a bike trip and not a car trip, weight is a serious factor.  The last thing I want to do is to overload the bike taking things I won't really need.  So I will continue to go over the list of gear between now and next Summer as I get things ready to go.  Eliminating the items I won't really need and lightening the load for things that I will.

Since we will only have a very few days to visit family I haven't seen in nearly five decades, I want to pack as light as possible so that I will have the option of pushing on further some days during the ride.  I really would prefer not to be making 12-14 hour days, but pressing 8-10 may just be in the cards.  But we won't know for sure until the time comes, and we are actually on the road each day.  I just want to keep as many options open as possible.  As it is, most of this trip will be made on Interstate Freeways.  As much as I find them boring, we just don't have the time available to make the trip taking two-lane highways for the entire 5,000 miles plus distance.  If we weren't restricted to only a fourteen-day time frame, things would be different I am sure.  But it is what it is, and we will just have to deal with it.

While I have the rough route laid out, we may have to adapt it due to unforeseen circumstances that the future may put up as obstacles to be dealt with.  things are in flux, and will no doubt remain so for a while yet.  The fact that I am also going to be running for the Legislature again in 2022 means I've had to postpone the trip a month so that I would be here campaigning in the weeks just prior to the Primary election instead of being out of touch with the campaign during a critical time.  I have faith that things will work out as they should.  Whether that is how I want things to be or not, I just need to be prepared for as many possibilities as I can.  Without trying to be prepared for every possible scenario, which would overload the bike and make the whole trip a burdensome adventure.  I'll keep you all posted.

Catch you on the road sometime...

RoadTrip 2022: Gathering Supplies

 

Since I know that I will be camping at least half of the time during this trip, I know that I will have to pack camping gear that can be loaded onto the bike.  Some I already have, and I am going through and acquiring more that will be of better use for on a bike than what I may have.  I am still going through things I have and deciding what I need, and what I don't.  The tent is rather old, but still in good shape, and is easy enough to put up and take down, and stores one the bike easily enough.  I have picked up a new folding entrenching tool, a new knife, and a folding solar-powered LED lamp that I can pack under the cargo net so that it can be charged during the day as we ride.  I have also bought a new hatchet to replace the old heavy one I keep in my camping box.  It will be much lighter on the bike than the old one and on a long journey, the light weight will be a benefit.  

I have a sleeping bag that is suitable, and an extra blanket rolled up with it for any nights that might require a little more warmth for these old bones.  Clothes I am not too worried about, as the Navy taught me how to fold things small enough to leave plenty of space, and I will have plenty of time between now and the time we leave to get anything I need if something wears out.

The one thing I am looking for is an old-style mess kit.  The pan, plate, and utensils are self-contained and small enough to easily fit into a saddlebag or my old seabag strapped to the sissybar.  A small backpacker's stove and fuel are on my list to buy.  But beyond that, at least at this point, I have everything else I will need for a long 14-day long road trip.  Although, as I continue to get closer to our departure date, I am sure I will find something that I just can't do without, or that I have to replace something I already have.  I am sure I will find things in my first-aid/survival pouch that probably needs to be replaced.  But I will deal with that when I go through it in the coming weeks.

It's funny, but the more I get things ready for this trip, the more excited I become for it.  It is going to be an adventure and with my grandson, and friends who have said they would like to ride along for at least part of it, it ought to be one to remember for the rest of my life.

Catch ya on the road sometime...

Roadtrip 2022-Nick's Chopper Is Up

 Yesterday, Nick and I made a 4-hour roundtrip from Morton to Yakima, Washington to pick up a voltage regulator he needed for his chopper.  Even though the sky was blue, and it was beautiful out, it was still only in the low 30's when we left Morton.  By the time we had made it to the top of White Pass at 4,500 feet elevation, it was 19 F, and we were both glad to be in Nick's nice warm Subaru WRT.  We made it down to the frigid and arid eastern Washington town of Yakima and he purchased his voltage regulator.  Both on the way over to Yakima, and the return trip back over the Cascade Mountains, Nick was describing what he wanted to do with his chopper "Shock Therapy" so that he could take it on the run to Chicago with me next year.  

He is planning on installing a dual bag air suspension system for his seat to make riding the rigid framed chopper easier over the 5,000-mile distance.  Also, he is going to work on getting everything rewired and repainted as part of the package.  I was happy to see how into making this trip with me that he has gotten.  I am still going to be getting Gypsy ready, just in case, as well as Tennessee Whiskey.  But more on them later. 

When we got back to Morton, we replaced the voltage regulator, and Nick rerouted his fuel line to get a little better flow rate.  Then, he rolled Shock Therapy out of the garage, and I climbed on Tennesse Whiskey.  Even though the sun was just dropping behind Peterman Hill, and the chilly temps could already be felt dropping, we rolled out for a circuit around Morton before topping off his tank and going out for a little test ride.  Instead of telling you how things went, I'll let the YouTube video I created last night give you a better idea of how things went.  I hope you enjoy.

This is going to be a fun trip.  One I can tell I am going to enjoy making with my grandson.

Catch you on the road sometime...

RoadTrip 2022- Parts Are Coming In

As the time begins to creep closer to the ride beginning, the parts have begun to arrive to get the preparations moving.  Today, I received a new kickstand/footpeg/gearshift mount that should solve that issue with Gypsy.  Then it should be a simple case of replacing the starter breaker, and she should be ready to ride.  From there we can look at what needs to be done to her to get her roadworthy for the trip.  After Gypsy gets this bit finished, she will be temporarily replaced on the lift by Tennessee show she can get a new tire mounted.  

I have also begun to gather up things for the trip itself.  On Tuesday. I received a new trenching tool, fire starter, and folding solar-powered LED lantern.  

The basic camping gear is already set, for the most part.  I am going to look for a couple (metal) mess kits for cooking with.  Along with a small single burner stove for cooking and making coffee.  Pretty much everything else is good to go.  

Things are looking good so far.  At least on our end.  I am truly worried about some new travel restrictions coming down that would limit the ability to make the ride on the limited schedule we have.  But so far, so good.  This is looking to be a historic trip for Nick and me.

Catch ya on the road sometime...

Road-Trip 2022 Laying Out The Plan

 As far as planning the route to take my father's ashes back to Illinois, it was rather simple.  Ride US 12 until it junctions with I-90 in Missoula, Montana, and basically follow it most of the way east.  Dropping down into Iowa and heading due east to Chicago.  Laying out the overnight stops wasn't too difficult either.  Using Google Maps to estimate 7-8 hours of riding each day.  In that way, if we were making good time, we could continue on farther if we decided to.  We would be camping in state parks or national forests along the way.  Staying in Motel 6's on some nights in areas with limited camping availability.  

When we reached Sturgis, South Dakota, we have actually planned on staying two nights.  Using the one full day to sightsee and take in a few historic locations in the area.  It'll have been 42 years since the last time I was there, and I doubt I'll be around in another 42 years, so I plan on seeing some of the sights I missed in 1980.

I say "we" because my grandson, Nick has said he wants to go with me and has even already spoken with his employer about taking 14 days off to make the trip.  That is why the schedule is 5 days to Chicago, 4 days there, and 5 days back.  It may mean we face a long 12 plus hour day on that last day back, but it will be worth it to see family, friends, and countryside I haven't seen in many years.  The trip back is a little straighter than the eastern route, running through Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, and Oregon.  But it adds the benefit to stop by and see dear friends outside of Salt Lake City, and swing past the legendary and hallowed ground of the Bonneville Salt Flats on the way back home.  The last night is currently planned to be in Burns, Oregon.  The map shows the route from the crossing the Cascade Mountains in Oregon, but we very well run north into Washington and cross over White Pass and drop back into Morton that way.

Working to get bikes ready to make a 5,000 mile round trip in 14 days dependably is going to be an effort.  But then so is getting bodies ready to make such a trip.  It will be a little bit easier mentally if some friends who are considering riding part of the way make the trip as well.  One couple wants to ride with us to Sturgis, and another couple from Wisconsin are considering visiting Colorado before meeting up with us in Sturgis and riding east to Illinois with us.  I am also trying to convince my cousin to ride out to Sioux Falls, Iowa, and ride back to Illinois with us the next day.  We have time to make those arrangements, and others with friends along the way.  But so far, everything seems to be working out and at least appearing to go well.  I am hopeful it will continue to do so.

Catch ya on the road sometime...

Road-Trip 2022, The Backstory

 

My name is Brian Lange.  In very early 1991, I was having some health issues, and having difficulty getting them diagnosed.  After recovering from a serious case of pancreatitis, I began having Grand Mal seizures, and the search for the cause of those began.  At the same time, on the first day of the original Gulf War against Iraq, my father died suddenly.  He was cremated, and my oldest brother took his ashes and stored them.

It was only a couple of weeks after that I was diagnosed with a type of tumor between the two halves of my brain almost directly behind my eyes.  It was removed on Valentine's Day 1992.  Because of the damage that had been done to my brain by the tumor, I had lost nearly half the strength in my left side (I am left-handed), I couldn't talk for nearly 6 months.  Also, I had lost much of my dexterity in my left hand, and I had developed memory issues and would forget words, and what I was even doing.  The Drs. told me that because of the ongoing seizures, I wouldn't be able to ride a motorcycle or even drive a car.  It took me nearly 13 years to recover enough to go back to work, drive, and ride a motorcycle again, which I eventually was able to do.  However, by that time, my wife had become disabled due to issues with her liver that would lead to her death in 2018.

I ended up with my father's ashes and had intended to take them back to Illinois and spread them there where he had grown up, and his family was.  But it seemed that work, bills, and life, in general, seemed to always keep that plan on the back burner.  It always seemed to find itself lower in priority than work needing to be done to the house, the car, the motorcycle, etc.  After I lost my wife in 2018, I lost my home, and nearly everything.  I am back on disability with a bad back, and heart failure, among other issues.  Time is growing short, and I truly feel that I need to raise this up on the priority scale and complete this task.  

Since my father used to ride before he joined the army before World War II; and then started a family, and the riding blood runs through me and several members of my family, I thought it only fitting to take Dad on one last ride home to his kin.

There is much to be done to prepare for this ride.  I truly believe this will probably be the last great ride of my life, and I can't imagine a better purpose behind it.  The route has been generally laid out.  The 30,000 foot level of planning has been done, and the time has come to begin acting to bring those plans to fruition.  Collecting the materials I will need to actually have during the trip that I don't currently have, preparing a bike to make the journey, and getting myself physically and mentally prepared to complete the trip.  While I have the actual trip budgeted out, it is the preparatory costs I am uncertain about at this point.  But knowing that, I expect to be able to get those costs taken care of, and to work through to the conclusion of this effort.

I'll be posting here, on a Facebook page that I have created about this effort called "Taking My Dad's Ashes Home".  In time I plan on also posting updates as part of my YouTube channel revitalization.  until this starts gaining momentum, take care, and may 2021 be a better year than 2020 was.

Catch you on the road sometime...

Road-Trip 2022, Taking My Dad's Ashes Home

A dear friend of mine is planning a 6-month long ride through all 48 states this year.  Bless her heart, and I wish her the best in this journey.  The more I thought about Teri going on her big trip to raise awareness for mental health issues, which riding can definitely help in some aspects, I got to thinking about how long it had been since I had gone on a long ride myself.  The last ride I took of any real length was one of around 1,200 miles or so and stretched out over 4 days.  Nothing hard, but it was the last time I had ridden even close to anything "long", and that was in 2009!  One of the things that got me thinking of making one last big ride was the realization that this month it will have been 30 years since my dad had died.  I have been talking about taking his ashes back to Chicago and spreading them there over the graves of his parents and brother.  Well, the inspiration of my friend Teri and her ride has gotten me to decide to make that trip next year.  Why next year?  Because it will take me at least that long to organize and fund the trip.  I have to get a bike ready to make a 4,500 plus mile roundtrip, gather family who ride to go with and raise the funds to be able to actually do the trip itself.

It is going to require a lot of planning.  I have the route tentatively laid out, and another of about the same length as a return.  It is still going to have to be fined tuned, including designating; fuel stops, motels or campsites, etc.  It means getting a bike set-up to make it over the Rockie Mountains, twice.  New tires, oil changed, and several other changes so whichever bike I make the ride on, I can have faith she will get me there.  

This also means that I have to go back to work, at least part-time, in order to cover the expenses and pay-off Tennessee.  If I decide to take Gypsy, I will need to buy a transmission for her off of E-Bay or Amazon, as that would be cheaper than rebuilding her current one that is so worn it leaks even with new seals.  If I take Tennessee, I will have to lower the seat height and replace the air-suspension that leaks.  So either bike is going to need some significant expenses to be made ready to make the trip.

Planning things like; distance between fuel stops is going to depend a lot on what family members or friends ride the various legs.  So, in the last month or so, I will know whether we will be refueling every 100 miles or more like every 150 or so.  Even the return route isn't fully carved in stone.  I might bypass Nevada completely, and just come up through Idaho and eastern Oregon, and return home over White Pass.  That has yet to be finalized, and probably won't be for some months.  I have to keep my priorities in order.

All that is in the future.  The priority to plan and organize is subordinate to getting back to work, and getting the funds raised to be able to make the roughly 4,500-mile roundtrip.  The bikes both get about 40 mpg, so I used 30 mpg in a 5-gallon tank to figure the number of fuel stops, and $5/gallon to figure fuel costs.  Depending on who rides with me, food could run from the simple gas station variety fast-food fare to at least one restaurant meal per day.  The same goes for overnight accommodations.  If it is just me, I would be spending time in campgrounds, with maybe a cheap motel 6 for a shower along the way.  

Even with these things in mind, I estimate that I should be able to make the actual trip itself for a shade over $4,000.  That doesn't include new tires, etc., that the bike will need to be able to safely make that length of a trip.  So I definitely have to find a job that I can do with my bad back and a bad heart.  At my age, I seriously doubt that, unless things improve drastically financially speaking, this will probably be my last great motorcycle road-trip.  I'll make smaller ones, but this will be the last multi-thousand miler that I can expect to make as things are.

I know that my postings here have been sparse over the past few months since I didn't win the election.  But this will give me something to write about and keep people updated with things much more interesting than being in near-constant lockdown due to the COVID in 2020.  Now you at least have a rough idea of what I have in mind, and what I will be working to bring to pass in 2022.  So, I am putting my faith in God that I will be able to get the goals I set accomplished.  Through hard efforts, prayer, and working through some mechanical issues, I should be in Chicago in July of 2022.

Keep following the updates on here, and soon I plan on doing video updates on my YouTube channel as well.

Catch you on the road sometime...

Changes Coming

As I look at my life and try to understand where I go from here, it seems clear that I have to change my priorities somewhat.  What I want isn't going to be handed to me on some silver platter, if at all.  There are sacrifices that I am going to have to make, and I can only pray that those sacrifices may aid me in finding what I truly want.  If even what I want has any importance in the cosmic scheme of my life.  It's become more and more evident to me that I seem to have some sort of 'white knight' aspect of my personality.  Not to be a hero, but something much more Quixotic in nature.  It's an instinct to be of service to my friends when needed.  Especially women who are reasonably close to me.  When asked, if I am at all able to help, I will do whatever I can to do so.  Even if there is no real benefit to me by doing so.

In no way is this any sort of misogynistic attitude, where I feel a woman needs a man's help.  Women are absolute equals to men in many ways in general, and both superior and inferior in other more specific factors generally speaking.  It is just an ingrained part of me to offer help whenever I am asked by someone I care about.  

I think I am actually digging myself deeper into a hole by doing this in many cases.  My current financial situation is basically one step above being homeless.  Health issues make it difficult to find work that allows me to be more stable and independent in my life.  While it is true, that I have a relatively large number of women friends with whom I am close, I have none that want to be a part of my life in a manner that is deeper than a good friend.  At least none that I am truly aware of.  It wouldn't surprise me if someone were to tell me that I am wrong about this, but as I see it, I'm not.  

This is why I think that I probably need to change my priorities in life.  I can't rationally believe that a woman would want to be in a relationship with a man who has so little to offer her beyond emotional support.  So, I think it may be time for me to just place the thought of finding a woman to share my life with on the shelf in the closet.  It may mean that for the foreseeable future I continue on alone in life.  Something I have experienced during a great portion of my life, and while I do not desire that to go on, I seem to be heading towards that path in life anyway if I do not make changes.  The option of going back to work is something that I have seriously considered, even with my physical limitations, but have so far been unsuccessful in achieving.  It is something that I am finding myself needing to focus on more and more if I hope to find what I desire in life.  Humble though that desire may be.

Perhaps once I have become more stable in life, and am better able to provide for myself and a possible life partner that I can take that thought back off the shelf and take another look at it.  Hopefully with better options, and possibilities.  What I have experienced in the last couple of years has shown me that the time is not right, yet.  If it ever will be, I have to be in a better place in life.  To be able to find that better place, I will have to make sacrifices in my life.  Ones that I may be totally unaware of at this point.  But something has to change, probably several things.  Or there is no reason to keep moving on except to exist, and simply existing isn't a good life.  

The first change in my life, I think, is to accept that I will be alone for the foreseeable future.  To understand that I am going to continue in this life alone, even with all my friends and family around me.  At least until I reach a position where I am able to provide more effectively for myself.  Perhaps then I will be able to enjoy the opportunity to share my life with a woman again in a mutually satisfying and uplifting manner.  But first, I need ot stop looking for that, and find myself some way with my abilities and skill sets, to begin moving in that direction.  To do otherwise, would simply be setting myself, and any woman who I become involved with, up for failure.  With God's help, I will begin to walk down that straight and narrow path, and rebuild my life into something more desirable a way of living that is worthy of sharing with someone I care for.

So I have to change myself, and how I live my life.  To be worthy again some day of having someone to share this life with.  It is going to take a lot of thought and effort, and I hope it is something I can accomplish in time.

What "Broke" Me?

 

Tonight, a dear friend of mine asked me; “What broke you?”, and I really couldn’t give her a simple direct answer. It’s not like I experienced one single heartbreaking event, but more a series of events spread across my life that has caused me to be much more reserved most of the time. I didn’t take her question as anything but the caring concern that wanted to know what had changed me from what little she knew of my past.

I have been thinking about her question since before I came home, and I still cannot come up with one, single experience that was so crushing as to change my personality. Making me seem harder, and colder, and much more reserved. As I look back over my life, I can see a pattern of trying to do the “right thing”, and to be an honorable man. Yet, as I look back, I can see that doing so resulted in my downfall. Even if it may not have had that effect for several years. The deaths of; many close friends, two wives, a daughter, the loss of a son (who I can only hope is still alive), and other bizarre occurrences in my life that I refuse to put on the record have made me who I am now.

Part of the problem is my knowledge of how history has shown me what can happen when I do let go and allow myself to not hold back. Giving myself over and not holding myself back has repeatedly ended in devastating heartbreak. At the same time, holding back and not allowing others into my heart has also created situations where what could have been something special merely turned into a few fleeting moments of promise that seemed to whither away.

There are things that I have done that are between God and I alone. He is my judge, and no one else need ever know the depths of darkness I have known in my past. The fear of letting someone in deeply enough to allow them to learn those secrets no doubt holds some conditional relationship to how my personality has changed over the years. People have told me how strong and stoic I seem to be emotionally. Trying to live up to my personal code, has meant that is how I often must be.

That is why I cherish those times when I can relax and be seemingly carefree and content. It seems that during those times I can push the darkness I have experienced deeper down inside, and hold it more securely, much more tightly compartmentalized within me under heavy security. The people I trusted enough to share the dark experiences and their effects have all moved on to whatever lay beyond this life. So, in many ways I find myself always alone, even when I am with a cohort of my closest friends. Loneliness, doubt and guilt are things I have long since learned to deal with on a daily basis.

Thinking about it now, I still can’t answer “what broke you?” Not even fully to myself, because to do so is rubbing salt into old wounds that have never fully healed. I can’t even fully agree that I am broken. Bent and battered, yes. Broken; maybe, maybe not. I really don’t know. And if I don’t even know that, how I can I say what really “broke” me?

A Couple of Surveys

This short blog post is actually just to post a couple of political surveys for my State Representative political campaign in Washington state.  The first is a more general survey and should take about 3 minutes to fill out, and the second is more focused on budgetary and expenditure issues.  The second should take about the same amount of time, maybe a little less.  These surveys are helping me to better understand the desires, beliefs, and goals of at least the participants in the 20th LD.  


1.  The General Survey

2.  The Budgetary Survey

Thank you,

Catch you on the road sometime...

Covid has Postponed Mt St Helens Ride

As with everything else this year, COVID-19 has caused long-standing plans to be changed.  We haven't canceled the ride, but we have postponed it until July.  It won't have the same meaning as riding up virtually on the anniversary date, but the weather should be much better.  I have a suspicion that there will be some people who may still ride up by themselves.  But the forecast is for rain and possible thundershowers.  I have a feeling that I am not even going to bother pulling the tarp off of Gypsy on Sunday morning.  I have made that run in rain many times, and with everything going on this year, I don't think I am going to push my luck and risk getting sick by making a 200-mile ride up to the mountain in the rain.  I just don't want to risk getting sick and losing time during my campaign for the legislature just to ride up most of the way to the mountain to a closed gate and turn back.  I'll say a prayer of remembrance like I do every year on Sunday morning.  But I am pretty sure I won't be riding up there and making that choice has really bummed me out.  Even though I know it is the right thing to do.

Catch ya on the road sometime...

We are at risk of losing medical personnel and facilities due to COVID proclamations.

As we move deeper into this sudden economic chasm that has appeared in our state due to the COVID pandemic, it brings questions to mind regarding the efficacy of the course we remain locked onto.  When the Governor first issued his state of emergency proclamation, it was to “flatten the curve” of infections so as to not overwhelm and inundate our hospitals and medical services.  By flattening the curve; according to the many virologists, immunologists, and other Drs. I have been listening to over the past few weeks we aren’t stopping the virus’ effects, only slowing them down.  The threat of this virus is still there, out in the environment.  However, according to these Drs., remaining in lockdown indefinitely is not realistic or even necessarily a good idea.  Remaining in self-isolation, in a heavily sanitized home environment is more likely to weaken our immune system due to reduced contact with even many common viruses and bacteria that we need to maintain a strong and healthy immune system.  So if we remain in lockdown for a further period and begin to attempt to restore our earlier activities in a mass movement it is highly likely that many people will become ill from a number of illnesses out in the environment due to a weakened immune system.  This could indeed cause a spike in ER visits and possible hospitalizations.

This brings us to the current condition of many hospitals in our state.  In order to reduce the risk of overwhelming our hospitals, clinics, and other medical services, the Governor’s emergency proclamation ordered all “elective” surgeries and procedures to be halted.  The concept was to ensure that facilities were available if needed for COVID patients.  However, we are now facing a situation where hospitals are very nearly empty and have little in the way of revenue coming in.  Many of the hospitals in Washington have begun to seriously consider furloughing staff, cutting the hours of others. This includes Drs. And nurses, not just support staff in the hospital.  Some hospitals have even noted that they are within sight of a situation where they may have to close their doors, especially in some of the more rural parts of the state.  My question is this, how can hospitals be expected to be ready for a spike in COVID cases, if they are understaffed, or even forced to close?

By definition, most procedures and surgeries that are not of an emergent nature are “elective”.  It is my strong belief that only a doctor can decide if a procedure or surgery is necessary.  The ban on elective surgeries at this point in time should be relaxed for at least two reasons.  This would allow doctors to better serve the health of their patients and assist in prolonging and saving lives.  It would also provide hospitals with the inflow of revenue that can keep them operating, and prevent their financial collapse.  It will do no one any good in the middle of the prolonged pandemic that this lockdown has created, to risk reducing the ability to provide healthcare by causing hospitals to furlough medical staff or close their doors.

A majority of doctors that I have been listening to over the past few weeks that are discussing this situation seem to have a common basis of understanding that they are speaking to.  While the upper echelon of government health officials and the main stream media are primarily appearing to be focused on the number of confirmed cases and deaths, these doctors are pointing out the results of studies and testing that seems to show the actual number of cases of COVID to be up to fifty times higher.  This results in a fatality rate not too dissimilar to that of a bad flu season (the 2017-2018 flu for example resulted in approximately 60,000 deaths in the US).  Currently, upwards of 90% of the current fatalities of COVID are senior citizens, especially in long term care facilities, and those with pre-existing health issues that are exacerbated by a respiratory infection.  It seems that an extremely low percentage of fatalities without some underlying health issue are below 50 years of age.  Therefore, it would seem advisable, after listening to these doctors, to allow those with the least risk of adverse reaction to the disease to go back to work in a managed, health positive ad responsible manner.  While allowing medical facilities to resume “elective” procedures with the benefit of saving and prolonging lives, as well as remaining staffed and available if there is a sudden spike in COVID infections. 

This should have the two-pronged effect of beginning to restore our citizens’ health and our economy to a much stronger and more vibrant condition that either currently possesses.

Thank you.

Governor, Set Our People Free

As Washington begins its climb out of the dual disasters of coronavirus and the economic crisis that came with the shutting down of the economy, there needs to be a plan to restore the economy while protecting our most vulnerable citizens.  The Governor's emergency proclamations have seriously restricted private entities to engage in operations that could easily be done in a safe and prudent method.  Just as the governmentally contracted private entities are allowed to do in the name of the state government.  Since the source of both private and governmental construction projects both have the same root financing source, the people, it is inconceivable as to how the Governor could logically assume because funds were coming from a governmental budget that construction activities were of less risk of spreading the coronavirus than other construction crews performing commercial and residential construction.  Fortunately, the Governor seems to have been forced to recognize that fact by his parties own union supporters.  While this has the appearance of relaxing the restrictions put in place by the Governor, it is only a very limited relaxation.

With what is expected to be at least a $6 billion shortfall in the budget of the state for the 2021-2022 biennium, there will have to be some serious adjustments in order to increase the state's revenue flow and prevent the shortfall from growing significantly larger.  As we continue to deal with this ongoing virus pandemic and the quarantine of our most vulnerable citizens, we will need to incentivize businesses that are able to get back to work and restore the state's economy and revenue stream in a safe and prudent manner.  Whether those incentives be in the form of reduced regulations, lower taxes, or other removing bureaucratic barriers to increase job creation, the Legislature will have to tackle this situation sooner rather than later. 

Only the legislature can reduce the state's budget in an effort to proactively reduce the dire effects of this economic shut-down by the Governor.  Changes will have to be made to the budget.  That is the Legislatures purpose and duty.  Whether the Governor calls them back into session or the four pillars of the legislative leadership can gather the required number of votes for the Legislature to call itself into session it must be done.  The Legislature should focus itself on reducing and reprioritizing the budget and its programs to fit the current existing revenue stream.  Not the pre-shutdown projections, and billions of dollars in new taxes.  The Legislature should do its utmost to focus on the retention of jobs in Washington state.  Directing agencies to reduce regulations that increase the cost of manufacturing within the state that businesses find it more economically viable to close down and leave the state.  When regulations lead to business pulling out of a state due to extreme cost and restrictions, the businesses take with them thousands of jobs.  With those jobs go all the capillary tax revenues spread out through the community. 

As an example, take a look at the flight of American manufacturing jobs during the 1970s and into the early 1980s.  The vast majority of these industries left America due to high labor costs and ever-increasing regulations and restrictions that made it untenable to remain in the US.  Then, during the Trump administration, many of those regulations were cut, and economic strategies brought back thousands of manufacturing plants to the US.  Another example of unnecessary regulations costing jobs is the Olympia Brewery in Tumwater.  After millions of dollars were spent to meet drinking water standards for the water outflow from the brewery, the brewery was told that while the outflow was clean enough for human consumption, it did not meet the standards for the fish at the small facility just downstream of the brewery.  When told it would require more millions of dollars in expenditures, the brewery laid-off some 400 employees and close-down. 

In the current situation Washington finds itself, we can no longer accept the same high taxation, high regulation, and agency restrictions we have had previously.  Washington state needs to focus on retaining jobs, especially manufacturing jobs, and creating an inviting environment for businesses to want to invest and become engaged in Washington state again.

Catch you on the road sometime...

The Two Washingtons, and a Growing Divide.

As most of you who follow this blog may know, I am running for the office of State Representative in the 20th District in Washington State.  The District includes a part of Thurston County, all of Lewis County, the eastern portion of Cowlitz County, and a portion of northern Clark County.  These areas are all fairly rural, with a few small cities, or large towns mixed in.  Because I have been trying to get the legislative campaign underway, I must admit that I have paid less attention to this blog.   While I am still the rider I have been, I haven't done much in the way of riding to write about.  Nor have I been working on motorcycle-specific legislation plans since the motorcycle parking bill was signed into law by Governor Inslee.  The fact that the Coronavirus pandemic has put everyone into lock-down has also thrown something of a monkey wrench into the works of my campaign.  It is with that in mind that I am trying to work out how to use this blog, social media, and my YouTube channel to help take the place of fundraising rallies and speech making.

It is with that in mind that I am making this post.  With the state in lock-down, and the Governor making some heavy-handed and inconsistent emergency proclamations, I feel it is my place to state what I believe could be the costs of continuing on blindly in this manner.  There have been several unconstitutional proclamations made during this emergency that should begin to be relaxed as the purpose given for instituting them seems to have had the desired effect.  The original purpose was to "lower the curve" of Coronavirus infections in Washington State.  From the data I have been able to see, it appears that we are on the downward slope of the curve and that it was indeed "flattened" from original projections.

Social distancing and the Governor's stay at home order, along with the closure of many businesses in the community have apparently had the desired effect on the rate of infection.  However, it has also had a seriously detrimental effect on the economy of our state.  The increase in unemployed citizens filing for unemployment insurance rose so rapidly that within hours, the website for filing claims was overwhelmed and crashed.  The phone lines were jammed and people found it extremely difficult to apply for their unemployment due to the pandemic.  Some small businesses were able to receive the Small Business Administration PPP loans.  However, some 60% of those loans nationally went to businesses who either their own stock or the stock of their parent company, were traded on the stock exchange.  Those should not qualify as "small" businesses.

The incongruous and confusing criteria the Governor used to decide what was to be allowed and what was not in the way of social distancing has begun to seriously rankle a growing segment of the state's citizens.  The recent demonstration held at the Capitol in Olympia is just one example.  According to Dept. of Enterprise Services, some 4,500-5,000 people attended the rally demanding the Governor relax restrictions and allow the economy of the state to begin to expand in a safe and responsible manner.

While many in the state seem to oppose opening up the economy, their opposition seems to fall into two distinct patterns when looking at their response to the rally.  The two responses seem to flow from a similar concern of increasing the infection rate.  But, the way they diverge and the sarcasm and cynical elitism of the portion of the opposition who seem to only see this as reopening restaurants and social gathering businesses, and those who appear merely seriously concerned that the idea is to suddenly and completely reopen the economy with businesses operating as before shows a lack of understanding among the opposition.  A large percentage of the people denouncing the protesters as "stupid" or "irresponsible" are not facing the same fate as those they are denigrating.  It seems many are either still working, or do not need to work...yet.

Many of those protesting are those out of work, and unable to afford beyond the most basic of needs for their families.  Some are truly struggling just to put food on their table.  People whose work does not entail a high rate of danger of infection due to their profession.  Those whose career fields are only allowed to function if employed by the state.  Such as construction, or other similar fields.  The fact that activities such as sport fishing are banned during a time when people are struggling to put food on the table, and the reason is that the Governor feels they do not comply with social distancing guidelines.  While the Governor is a bicyclist, it is evident he isn't a fisherman.  Or he would know that activity is much better when fishermen are spread apart to reduce the risk of snared lines.

It is reasonable to understand that the Governor's office arrived quickly at the items he felt to be "essential" or not.  Or listing activities that complied with social distancing guidelines.  But it is unreasonable to believe that the same work that state employees are free to participate in, somehow constitutes less of a health risk than citizens whose jobs are identical, except for being in the private sector.  Or that participating in an activity alone, such as walking, running or bicycling, is somehow less of a risk of contracting the virus than sitting alone in a boat, or upon a riverbank fishing.  It is for reasons such as these, and more, that the Governor's policies need to be explained to the citizens.  Why certain decisions were made, and why common sense situations of being alone and separate from others could put one at greater risk of contracting the virus and getting ill.

It seems that the Governor's office is taking a very condescending attitude towards the people.  Calling them "insubordinate" and partaking in "criminal activity" by protesting his proclamations.  Washingtonians, as with most people, do not take kindly to being condescended to and commanded by authorities who demand sacrifice without making any sacrifice or appearing to have empathy for the hardships the demanded sacrifices bring.  The Governor should quickly reassess his restrictions, and relax those that are not directly related to restricting the spread of the coronavirus.  As well as relaxing the ban on industries that perform the same basic duties that state employees are performing while their private sector counterparts are banned from doing.  What was that old saying; "What's good for the goose..."?

I found a very good quote in an article published in USA Today this morning and written by University of Tennessee law professor Glenn Harlan Reynolds.

"There are really two Americas here: Those still getting a paycheck from government, corporations, or universities, and those who are unemployed or seeing their small business suffer due to shutdowns.  And the America still getting paid is so far, not showing a whole lot of sympathy for the America that isn't.

That's a formula for disaster, and it has been made worse by the heavy-handed approach taken by some government officials enforcing quarantines.  We've seen news story after news story of officials going after people whose actions pose no danger of contagion -- lone joggers on a beach, lone paddleboarders off the California coast, a father throwing a ball to his daughter in a public park -- and every time that happens the shutdown loses moral authority."

This is turning into a class struggle.  Between those that still have jobs, and those that do not, because they were ordered to shut down by an unsympathetic government who seems to be taking advantage of this health crisis to solidify their control of citizens by unconstitutional means.  Yet, not making the same demands as they are requiring of the citizens for whom they work for, and were elected by.

Governor Jay Inslee will eventually need to receive legislative approval to continue extending his emergency proclamations, yet he seems reluctant to call a special session.  He has not even felt obliged to read letters from legislative members of his own task force on re-opening the economy.  It is for that, and other reasons, several legislators from across the state held an online press conference today in an attempt to urge the Governor to call the Legislature into special session or to gain enough support for the Legislature to call itself into special session to deal with the issues facing the state.  Issues both immediate, and forthcoming.  Such as the hole in the state budget for this upcoming biennium due to tax revenue's "falling off a cliff" as one legislator commented.

I will end this post with two other quotes from Professor Reynolds USA Today article;

"When rulers ask for sacrifices without making any, they're displaying a distinct lack of, well, class."  While I would our elected officials were elected to lead the state's administrative work, they still work for the people and should never think it is the other way around.  And lastly, I cannot agree more with these words of Professor Reynolds in the closing of his article; "If your messaging -- and your behavior -- inspires resentment that causes people to resist and ignore public health messages, then you have failed at your job, whatever the amount of scientific knowledge you bring to bear.

Sadly, to succeed in their job, our leader will need to possess humility, empathy and self-discipline.  Those traits are in sadly short supply in our leadership class.  We will all pay a price for that, though if recent history is any guide, our leaders will pay less than the rest of us."  I agree completely.

Catch you on the road sometime...

Riding Skate Creek Road

Washington's Diverse Highways